Beyond this sham

A moment like this, a moment that I look forward to everyday.
Putting effort and creating new memories every single day.

It may sound like a simple life that we’re leading, but it’s more than that. It’s added with lots of love, lots of trust and lots of securities.

Determination and patients will be our leading key to unlock the future for us. Time, happiness, freedom.

I’m awaiting, to walk on the aisle with you. To create a new home that contain lots of love and warmness.

I love you, weixian.
Xoxo;

Yours truly,
Vivian

Happy birthday dearest boy, I love you.

Xoxo;

Probably the most memorable one, though it’s just short trip at last less than 24hrs but it’s definitely a happy and enjoyable one.

There’s many first time with you through these 2 months. I can’t help myself to stop falling for you again everytime. Thanks for making so much of effort to fulfill my wishes, love you baby.

Happy 2nd month.
Xoxo;

Yours truly,
Vivian.

It started simple. A normal girl that goes to work everyday as usual just to earn more money for her clothes. She was attached back then. After 1 week of work she noticed a guy kept peeping at her every now and then, she find him weird but still.. That don’t change anything.

After 2 weeks, she got to know the guy and they exchanged number. She’s still attached, but that didn’t stop her from making friend with that guy. Every morning he will whatsapp her and ask her to wake up. They share almost everything among themselves. That was when she started to pour out all her emotions to the guy. The guy tried hard to make her happy. Meeting her at the smoking point and buy her honey water. Gradually they got even closer.

They were chatting on whatsapp and talkbox every single night without fail. The guy would specially come down to their workplace and find excuse that he’s going to work when he just want to see her. Every chat on whatsapp, he would always send quotes and pictures. There’s so much of hidden meanings in it. She knew that he like her, but she can’t like him at that moment because she’s attached..

After sometime, her r/s problem got worse. She felt lost and the guy had a heart to heart talk with her everytime when she’s upset. Days passed, the guy confessed to her. She actually knew it from the start, but she’s still a little astonished and happy yet she can’t do anything yet because she’s still attached..

Weeks gone, they were together for almost everyday. She felt that she really like him alot and feel that she’s really very troubled with her r/s now. Hence, the guy was always there to help her. One day, she suddenly whatsapp the guy in the early noon. Feeling upset, she told him that she broke up with her boyfriend already. She felt a little devastated and lost at that moment. The guy was in school, he called her. She can’t hold back her tears anymore and she cried.

He was there with her without fail, till the very day she finally made a decision. Although it’s sudden but it’s not at harsh emotion. She decided that the guy that was there for her all these time was actually the right one and then she asked him “let’s just be together.”

That was when they realised, after do much. They’re meant to be. From now till eternity.

Xoxo;

To an extent, dreams are always better than reality but I’ve gotten it wrongly now because my reality can be better than dream.

I’ve been dreaming about bad things that happened to us most of the time, when I woke up and realised how much I’m thankful that my reality is so much blissful than my dream.

If you’ve listen to this song “fall for you” that song resembles me alot. Like falling for you all over again everyday. I can’t explain how happy am I to have you hear. I can’t stop myself from repeating how thankful am I to know you. Sometimes I just hope time would go a little faster, because I can’t wait to see how my future will be like being with you.

Be it those squabbles that we had, I still love you and having small tiffs each time made me understand you a little more.

Yours truly,
Vivian.

Xoxo;

It’s been more than a month from our first 11th. Although during the past few days there are some squabbles between us. Maybe my determination is still not strong enough.

I’ll always start to malign you with my assumption and we’ll squabble over trivial stuff. I can’t be thoughtful enough and yet you’re being so patient to tell me what’s really going on. But you told me ” having quarrels sometimes is good because this is what that will make us stronger. ” I believe it did definitely. I know my attitude can get really horrible at times but I’ll try my very best to be better.

Loving you is definitely not a mistake, knowing you is a gift, having you by my side is what I thought that it’ll never happened. Time and again I’ve been reminding myself to control my temper but I don’t know why I will still blast it all out at you. Blame me for being selfish but you know, I still love you very much.

This journey of us will be very long and I’ve still got so much to learn from you. I’m sorry for being so demanding everytime. But please trust me, I really love you. Of course not to mention, you’re the sweetest kind ever.

Baby, I really want to thank you so much for holding onto my hands. Hugging me and telling me that you’ll be there every single time. I’ve been finding perfection and after so much I realised that the perfection that I’m finding is me and you. I love you.

Yours truly,
Vivian
Xoxo;

I’ve never imagined that dog would be my best friend someday because they’re just one animal that I fear most.

From the very day I knew baby’s dog, carpet. I realised that actually they’re just so kind and adorable. I merely know her much, but during the times when she’s around she made me learned alot from her. Especially understand a dog. It’s like human, a baby but a little more smarter than a baby. An animal which has so much of feelings. She’s the first dog which made me touch her without feeling scared adore her. Although I don’t really play with her but I realised that whenever she saw me she’ll jump around wanting me to touch her.

From the very day when I know that she went missing I was really very upset, I don’t know why I will feel this way maybe I’ve grown feelings for this little dog. Then the following day baby told she’s gone because of a car accident, my tears just can’t hold back. I thought back, I merely know her and she’s gone. I miss her really very much.

Today was the day when I can confirmed that dogs really has feelings and it’s so heart wrenching because sky, was actually looking for carpet. She was crying, can you imagine? DOGS CRYING? I’ve got no idea why I would charged forward and pat on her head wanting to let her know that everything’s gonna be fine. Although it may sound a little stupid but it really affect me alot.

For whatever happened god, please bless sky to be strong and bless carpet for whatever things that she do. I’ll miss her and I won’t forget those memories when I’m with her although it’s just a short period of time. Amen.

I thought we’re fine but I was wrong..
Those replies hurt even more.

Please tell me what to do.. I’m sorry. It’s so fucking pain.. :’(
Tell me what are you thinking can we stop all these? It hurt …. :’(

I guess I’m too much this time round. I’m sorry, for not making an effort into anything. Sorry for not knowing how to think, sorry to make you feel disappointed again.

I’m trying, please give me more time to overcome my fear, give me strength to fight those fear. It’s not easy, but I’m really trying really trying. I don’t know why, this time it hurts, it just so fucking badly. I’m crying so much inside and yet tears can’t flow out.

Will you leave me just like that one day because you can’t tolerate my nonsense anymore? Will you still hold me so tightly like how you do everytime? I fail much… Please, tell me what to do. Please. :’(

Things didn’t work well today. Partially it’s my fault or rather it’s my fault for being so petty.

I’m sorry, I can’t control my temper at times and I always throw tantrum at you. You’ve always been patient and kind and what hurt so badly was that you know I’m sick and you’d rather skip school just to visit the doctor with me and yet I ended up giving you all sorts of nonsense.

I know it’s hard for you sometimes to be the best to pretend that you’re fine when you’re actually feeling frustrated with my little attitude. I’m sorry that I’m not thoughtful enough and sorry for being so selfish.

I’m trying to be better each and every single day, I know I can’t be perfect but I’ll try my best to kick those habit of being petty. Thanks for being so patient with me. You know, no matter what I still love you very much. I’m sorry baby, I love you and I miss you.

Xoxo;